I can see changes in myself now, to the better! Alhamdulillah*
I finished all my homeworks that was assigned today; I studied when I had the time & I`m more concerned about my exams, unlike before. (:
Anyways, I was really hoping to get my Sej Folio back today; but Teach` was absent. :(
It`s okay, I still have tomorrow!
I`m talking to myself again -- for the 1OOth time! Gosh. I guess I have to since I`v no one to talk to .. Right. This mostly happened during P.E., my worst subject. I hate you, PE! As always, the Teach` let us play freely with badminton rackets & dumb balls.
I`ve read in an advice column before, that "... worse comes to worse, you could just go up to a group that seems friendly and ask them whether you can join them.. " Honestly & obviously,
I CAN`T DO THAT!
My self-esteem is pretty low when it comes to communicating. At least there`s one group who took pity on me - Nadia`s. Well, kinda. They played badminton & stuff; it was fun watching them. But wasn`t fun when you`re not involved :(
It was dead boring, seriously. And there`s me, standing like stupid only. People only came to me, when they wanted to apologize of accidentally hitting me with the shuttlecock (Ha ha) & if they could "borrow" the ball. Ohh, I named the ball Ms Balley. Lame.
I had a personal mind-to-mind talk with Ms Balley. Staring at her. Playing with her. Bouncing
her. Until, I had to give her to someone else.
She was my best friend. *waves*
Y`know, I`ve always dreamed of becoming the "Friendly" one, where I would drag a "Loner" `s hand to my so-called group and say "Hey, come and join us." and then we would be BFFs. If I can`t be the "Friendly" one, at least let me be the "Loner", guys ... *sobsob*
I had nothing to do, apart of from STUDYING, of course. Sure .. I didn`t bring my book to the field;
but I`ve still got my brain! ;) SO I let out EVERYTHING that I`ve revised & memorized
of Sejarah. Thank God, I am still having a good pic of what I studied! :D
Anna; I know you`re having fun Deepavali-ing now, but puh-lease come tomorrow.
I miss you, my friend.